so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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