We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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