Is it because I queefed?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
