like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my poor anus
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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