The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
