Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
