I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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