great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
