The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
