He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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