you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize