I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
