I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
