This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
