your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
