He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
