why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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