This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
