I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's like heaven, but drunker
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
