Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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