Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today