Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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