Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night