Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hippo gnu deer
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby