my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
