whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
