That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
