oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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