this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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