At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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