He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
