Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
