im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
