Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
