I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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