your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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