when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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