I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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