Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He better not be in your backpack
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
