yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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