dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
