So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
