Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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