3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
