am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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