I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think my moral compass just broke
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
