he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Are my feet made of real feet?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
