At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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