your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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