lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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