You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
