You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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