let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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