It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
