I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
