O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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