Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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