pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
