I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
