i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
