I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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