the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
