so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
