we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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