I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
