So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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