Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
