I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
