Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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