I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize