Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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