I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
